September 14, 2015
So, as I struggle between working at a new school and my 2 beautiful daughters I find myself pregnant again. As if my stress wasn't piled on high enough, my due date is the end of April/beginning of May. So now I have to have the whole month of May all ready for a substitute and that includes. . . report card testing! Oh my goodness! Wow. Now, don't get me wrong. I will love to have all the extra time with my new baby. I've always said that the best time to have a baby is at the end of the year because you get the 6-8 weeks off, plus the summer! That is AWESOME! BUT it brings on a whole new batch of stress and we are not telling anyone until the end of the 1st trimester. Why? Well, my 1st daughter was the third pregnancy I had in one year. . . 2 miscarriages and then my daughter :-) my angel. My second daughter was the third pregnancy I had in one year. . . 2 miscarriages and then my 2nd daughter :-) Sooooo now, I am not totally excited about being pregnant, I am totally nervous about beginning my miscarriage at school. . . so MORE STRESS! However, I have a sneaky suspicion this pregnancy is going to stick. Why? My first daughter was conceived about a week after my husband got the job he currently has. My second daughter was conceived about a week after I got a new teaching job at a school after not signing a contract at my previous school and getting paid the most I ever had as a teacher. Now I find myself teaching at a school in which I wish I had started teaching years ago. It is a great school, and once again I'm getting paid more than I ever had as a teacher :-) THEN just days after school starting, I conceive again and I am feeling like this one is going to stay.
Now, it is not that I don't want another child. It is not that I don't want to be pregnant. I actually like being pregnant. We weren't exactly trying but then we weren't exactly preventing either. We were just letting God be in control. Why? Because I didn't want to "plan" my next miscarriage. I am fully emotionally prepared to have 2 miscarriages before my next child. However, that doesn't look like it will be the case.
So we aren't telling anyone and so I am keeping all my stressful thoughts to myself and that is increasing my stress level . . . that can't be good for the pregnancy. I try to remind myself of that.
Now, how is this going to affect my pay? I am supposed to get paid through the summer, but now I am not sure that is going to happen! I want to talk to the payroll person about it but I have to wait until the 2nd trimester.
Since I can't talk to anyone (except my husband). I decided that I would go ahead and create a post but schedule it to actually print in November...
But now I must go to bed I am falling asleep at the computer. Why? Well, forget the fact I am staying up late and getting up early. . . add the pregnancy. . . I can hardly stay awake. Why? Well, what I tell myself is this: "Making a baby is hard work."
