When a teacher gets pregnant eventually she ends up having to make a choice

I am not sure how other mothers do it. Oftentimes other teachers would say to me, "I don't know how you do it." My response would always be, "Neither do I." The truth is, I wasn't doing it. I was being pulled in so many different directions I couldn't do it all. I couldn't be the teacher I wanted to be. I couldn't be the mother I wanted to be. I couldn't be the homemaker I wanted to be. 

In all honestly, I would much rather be a stay at home mother, taking care of the children and keeping the house clean. Don't get me wrong, I know being a stay at home mom has it's own challenges and even a stay at home mom can have a difficult time keeping a home clean. But imagine trying to do all of the duties of a stay at home mother and then add all the responsibilities of being a teacher. No wonder I was stressed.

My stress level has decreased. My home is still a disaster, I still have to work away from home. But my children feel like I can spend more time with them. Except for the summers, and school holidays. I miss being with them on the school holidays so much! That is the next step. Try to make it so I don't have to work outside of the home. I hope I can do it!

pictures used by permission from www.pexels.com and pixabay.com

10 years

 It has been ten years since my daughter was born. I originally started this blog so that I could post all the funny things kids said about me being pregnant. But now, I think talking about the struggles of teaching and being a mother is more what it should have become. And now it is time to finish the sentence... "When a teacher gets pregnant" she ends up quitting teaching because it is too hard to become the teacher your are expected to be and still be there for your family.

Teachers have unreasonable expectations placed upon them and it is so sad to see so many teachers leaving the profession, including myself. It's tough because I have always been home with my children during the summer and this year, I can't. As I struggle to decide what I should do instead of teaching (because we can not financially afford me not to work) I hope that we can make things work for next summer so I can be with them more.

The Struggle

I've decided to share more posts by other mom/teachers. What more could I say than what they have already said, especially if I agree with them.

Here are 20 truths to being a mom/teacher

In this article, I've already tried #3 which I believe contributed to me not being asked to come back and I believe #4 was noticed #5  is something I have been trying to do more #6 is definitely something I do and so is the dinner part of #2

So, it is difficult. It is a struggle. I shouldn't beat myself up over it. Too bad. I already do.

In my last post I linked an article where she stated at some point your child will be jealous of my students. This is so sad. It is so true. As I've stated in a previous post, my daughter wanted to be in my kindergarten class because she wanted to be with me all day long, like my students are with me all day long. . . I wish I could be with her all day long without having to worry about what I need to do to make money to help support our family.

A teacher/Mother

Browsing through the internet today I found two articles by women who are both mothers and teachers. Both indicated how tough it is to be both and, well actually, impossible to be good at both. I thought, "Well, how can I write about that, they already have." One of the articles was really long and honestly, I didn't finish reading it. The other one was a length I could read without the risk of falling asleep. Here is the article. If you want to read the lengthy one, here it is. 

So, what I discovered is this: I am not alone. I am not the only one that feels that in order to be a good teacher I must neglect my children and in order to be a good mother I must neglect my students.

I also confirmed what I already knew. The real reason why I didn't get asked back to my school is because I failed my students. I did not put them before my children. I also did not put my children before my students. I couldn't be a great teacher and a great mother so instead of trying for one, I was neither.

Now I am stuck trying to find another teaching job and I don't want to. I don't want to sit through another interview telling someone that my passion is teaching. That I can't see myself doing anything else. Because all I want to do is be home with my babies. BUT the reality is, I need to work. I need to have a job. But what? Teaching is the only thing I know how to do. What other job could I do to make the same amount (such as it is) as I am making now?

So, now I am wishing that I chosen a different path (a writing career). Now, I am trying to work on my blogs (while I currently have the time to do so) in hopes that I could possibly make some money by blogging. There are other avenues I am trying to do but I fear none of them will pan out before I need to be working again. So now I will be applying for teaching jobs.

I am a teacher. I got pregnant. Now I am a mother. I now understand why at one point in our country's history teachers were not allowed to get married. They were not allowed to get pregnant. If they did, they would have to quit teaching. I get it now. I so get it.

Everybody Loves Mommy

My almost 5 year old daughter loves to spend time with me. She never feels like she has enough time with me. She told me she wanted to go to kindergarten so she could be in my class. (Earlier this year when I actually taught kindergarten - who knows about next year). Poor thing, I'm gone all day long and spend my days with other people's kids. She just wants to spend all day with me too. It's not fair.

My 2 year old wants to spend every second with me. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, she just wants to be in the same room as me. She follows me around from room to room. She picks up her toy or whatever she is playing with and follow me to the next room and continues to play. Recently she has taken up helping me with whatever I am doing. Whenever I put the baby down she instantly comes running to me and begs me to pick her up.

My 2 month old is only happy in Mommy's arms. He wants me to carry him all day long. He loves to nurse and wants to nurse all day long.

My husband is the only one who doesn't want to be with me 24-7 but that is only because he knows it is normal for couples in a healthy relationship to spend time away from each other. However, he does admit to wanting to spend more time with me. Fortunately, he understand the needs of the children and doesn't demand my time and attention like the children do. Instead he cherishes every second he can spend with me.

Baby #3

So, it has been a while since my last blog entry. I have had my 3rd and final child. Therefore I won't have any more adorable quotes about pregnancy from my students.

I have decided to now write about the aftermath of having children while also teaching full time! It is quiet the task! Everyone demands so much of my time! There is so much to do to be a highly effective teacher that it takes away from being a highly effective mother at home. Dedicating as much as I can to be there for my children when I am not at school takes away from what I need to be doing for my students. It is a lose-lose battle.

Another Pregnancy

September 14, 2015

So, as I struggle between working at a new school and my 2 beautiful daughters I find myself pregnant again. As if my stress wasn't piled on high enough, my due date is the end of April/beginning of May. So now I have to have the whole month of May all ready for a substitute and that includes. . . report card testing! Oh my goodness! Wow. Now, don't get me wrong. I will love to have all the extra time with my new baby. I've always said that the best time to have a baby is at the end of the year because you get the 6-8 weeks off, plus the summer! That is AWESOME! BUT it brings on a whole new batch of stress and we are not telling anyone until the end of the 1st trimester. Why? Well, my 1st daughter was the third pregnancy I had in one year. . . 2 miscarriages and then my daughter :-) my angel. My second daughter was the third pregnancy I had in one year. . . 2 miscarriages and then my 2nd daughter :-) Sooooo now, I am not totally excited about being pregnant, I am totally nervous about beginning my miscarriage at school. . . so MORE STRESS! However, I have a sneaky suspicion this pregnancy is going to stick. Why? My first daughter was conceived about a week after my husband got the job he currently has. My second daughter was conceived about a week after I got a new teaching job at a school after not signing a contract at my previous school and getting paid the most I ever had as a teacher. Now I find myself teaching at a school in which I wish I had started teaching years ago. It is a great school, and once again I'm getting paid more than I ever had as a teacher :-) THEN just days after school starting, I conceive again and I am feeling like this one is going to stay.

Now, it is not that I don't want another child. It is not that I don't want to be pregnant. I actually like being pregnant. We weren't exactly trying but then we weren't exactly preventing either. We were just letting God be in control. Why? Because I didn't want to "plan" my next miscarriage. I am fully emotionally prepared to have 2 miscarriages before my next child. However, that doesn't look like it will be the case.

So we aren't telling anyone and so I am keeping all my stressful thoughts to myself and that is increasing my stress level . . . that can't be good for the pregnancy. I try to remind myself of that.

Now, how is this going to affect my pay? I am supposed to get paid through the summer, but now I am not sure that is going to happen! I want to talk to the payroll person about it but I have to wait until the 2nd trimester.

Since I can't talk to anyone (except my husband). I decided that I would go ahead and create a post but schedule it to actually print in November...

But now I must go to bed I am falling asleep at the computer. Why? Well, forget the fact I am staying up late and getting up early. . . add the pregnancy. . . I can hardly stay awake. Why? Well, what I tell myself is this: "Making a baby is hard work."